Masturbation - does it cause sex problems?
Masturbation - does it cause sex problems?
There can be a number of reasons for sex problems - Biological, Psychological and Social. They are described elsewhere in detail but I would like to mention what I have seen in my patients
Often people ask me a question- “Does masturbation cause sex problems?” The usual scientific answer I give to all my patients is a “NO”. Masturbation doesn’t cause sex problems for sure . Though some research has shown that those practicing masturbation in prone position rubbing on the bed may develop delayed ejaculation later but it is not a surety. But excessive thinking and Preoccupation with linking everything with masturbation so prevalent in the culture does produce many sex problems. Any amount of counseling may not succeed in such cases because the belief is deeply ingrained in the minds of masses, which is further reinforced by similar sermons by self-styled babas. Online Sex Consultation
The misconceptions are held by the majority in society, irrespective of the social status or educational level . Many come to me with the remark - “Though I know masturbation is normal but I was doing it excessively !“
So people are already very convinced and the brain is filled with apprehension that he may be having some sex problem already or may develop a sexual dysfunction in future . Many try to control themselves. Some may succeed for some time While others can’t control the natural instinct. All these produce significant anxiety, shame and guilt, bordering on to severe helplessness.
Many of these young men find a female partner to experiment - either a girl friend or a sex worker and try sex at some unfriendly place where there may be a chance of getting caught or the girl may request to finish it off quickly, though many tell me there was no apprehensions of being seen. Majority fumble badly because this is their first time and fail to get a hard-on or finish quickly. Most girls react cooly while others may pass a negative comment like- “ what happened? Leave it, you aren’t good enough” This adds flame to the fire and convince them to be having a sex problem. There are a few wise boys and girls who understand that this performance may not be indicative of a real sex problem but majority don’t understand Remember, most men link their reputation, self image and confidence to the performance in bed. Any future failure with the same or different partner cements the belief further that the present failures are due to masturbation .
Why does it happen? The brain stores the sexual event resulting in failures and anxiety and in future, when the brain perceives a sexual cue, the arcuate nucleus immediately release the necessary neurotransmitters triggering anxiety . Hence sexual situations get associated with anxiety instead of pleasure .It is called Performance Anxiety.
Such men become very scared of failure so always think about their penis and a possible failure to satisfy their partner ,even while in bed for sex .This is called mindfulness- thinking about the state of penis instead of focusing on pleasure. Anxiety result in sex problems like Erectile Dysfunction or Pre Mature Ejaculation. So it becomes clear that the misconception of masturbation causing sex problems indeed cause ED or Pre Mature Ejaculation. Repeated failures result in avoiding sex so the desire goes down. A 48 yr old patient recently came to me who faced similar story . He tried sex at the age of 24 and got so scared that he never married nor had any sex with a girlfriend . At 48, he was left with no family member, developed depression for many years, alcohol dependence and fatty liver with Diabetes. The reason to come for treatment was his recent affair with a lady . He was very shy otherwise but tried sex on her insistence. He could not penetrate and ejaculated outside. He was almost trembling when in bed with her. She tried to pacify him though but no benefit. His belief that the sex problem was due to his childhood mistakes ( a nickname for masturbation) was of delusional proportions . He could start sex with treatment
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